I went to GR today to go to the Meijer Gardens. It was pretty cool, I would love to go there with people I like though. I had fun with Shanna and Andy(my two profs) but I would much rather go with Riku, Taylove, Shannon and Kylie.
We'll I was supposed to meet up with Riku but that didn't work out.

And GR was under a tornado watch for most of the day so we were stuck inside to look at the one exibit. So I went through the butterfly house which was neat. Baby birds we're everywhere.

So we then went to the GR museum. Which was very cool too, I wish we had more time and again...people I like. Then Andy Warhol exibit was simply AMAZING. I love his work, My favorite is his Beethoven.


I also snuck a picture of his Martha Gram.



Well anyway, I tried to eat well today despite not having much money and eating at not great places. I did pretty well.

I need to put more music on my phone. I'm sick of everything thats on it.

blah!

location: Home mood: exhausted music: The Joker/Everything I Own- Jason Mraz

I'm currently at Jojo's helping Ireland with her homework. Well...at least I was. I finished, so I'm waiting for Jody to work on her pictures.

I totally just broke her chair. Well I think it was already broken.


I went to class today and then went home to try and convert a video so I can put it on my PSP. I think I like watching movies on it more then games. lol....

Anyway, I have class tomorrow then I'm going to GR at 8:15 with my retarded art class. i want to go but there are some messed up people in my class. All whom I cannot stand. I try hard to ignore it all and mind my own business and not throw rude comments at them.
Which if anyone knows me..thats very hard. Thank you God for head phones and a awesome teacher.

I'm going to start using this more. Perhaps I'll make a new one.

I'm really hungry butI'mnot going to eat for a while. I've ate enough today. I'm going on a diet of long pointes and cucumbers! ahahah....

I think I'llpost a little later tonight. I'm going to go see if Jo needs my help.

location: jodys mood: apathetic music: sleepy music

I have realized that I am a very confused individual. I don't know if I want to stay another year or go up to northern. On one hand I like to be home and in the long run I probably will want to. But at the same time I want to leave. I want a roomie that I know. Not some random chick who will eat all my food and take all my shit.

Well anyway, I finally watched .Hack GU trilogy and it was AMAZING. My god... my heart about exploded with all of the Haseo X Atoli moments. But I have no one to talk to it about because a certain friend of mine didn't call me back.

Well I really want it to be summer. I feel like I have no friends.
and I really need to loose some weight. Get rid of all this winter heat.

Robyn told me some bad news and I feel just sick about it.


I wish I had something to do. But I don't. Jenna needs to come home. Well at least I get to see her on friday...well I hope I do anyway....

-me.

location: Home mood: gloomy music: IceCream- New Young Pony Club

Well I have been feeling rather odd today. I don't feel myself quite anymore. At least recently.

I feel like I don't have friends. I do, I have Taylove and Kylie and Shannon. And a couple others but I'm never called to do anything. I hear about all these funny stories that they all have and I feel very out of place.
Like I shouldn't be here.
Most of my time is college and drama where I do my thing. I come and go and in the end no one cares if I'm there or not. I don't accomplish anything of value.
Sure occasionally I do something great but it doesn't matter.
But when I'm not doing those two things, I'm just sitting at home.
I want to do something.
I used to be so spontaneous! I want someone to call me and say "HEY! We're going to _________ come on!" When its 9PM on a Tuesday. Anything.
I don't even paint anymore. I used to paint all the time. I don't feel right.

No one calls, but I always hear about the things they do and think "Yeah, if they thought of me I'm sure I'd be there."
I don't like calling and saying "hey can I come" because then I feel like the idiot i am.
I don't like this feeling.
I just want to feel welcome again.

location: My Home mood: depressed music: You Are the Moon- the hush Sound

Good morning, Kite.
Your courage is needed again.

Good morning, Haseo.
Start your journey once more.
Your fury is needed again.

Good morning, Tokio.

Your story is finally about to begin.
It's okay if you still don't understand.
But, it seems like "they" have already set out?

You too, start here.
Now is the time that your power is needed.

I haven't been doing much lately. I've been bored and lonely. Playing .hack //G.U (which is totally cool with me).
I'm watching Marie Antoinette right now with my Muma.
i jsut drew a picture of Haseo and Atoli that I want to color.

whoooo!

mood: blah

I wish there was a confirmed date for Volume three of .Hack//GU. I WANT IT!! AH!

AtloiXHASEO!!

WHOO!!!

"Dont worry about it man, your tough and much tougher than this. you'll be okay and you'll be a confident woman (who once owned Ethans balls) who can breeze in and out of that party and make everyone look at Ethan and go 'you suck dude'" -Jenna

Thank you.

I saw a letter it was written in your handwriting
But it wasn't for me
Saying you'll miss everyone when your gone
Leaving the country
I pretended not to know and you just pretend
See how long you can keep up my hopes
Before it all ends

You're so cruel to me

The first time we really went out together
I was so excited
Until you turned up with one of your mates
And it was just another night then
You told him you were going away for a year
You couldn't even say it to my face you didn't even care

You're so cruel to me, I forgive you so easily
Even though your mean, I forgive you so easily

I laughed when you were leaving
So you'd remember me that way
Then I found a little hole to crawl in
And I cried for a year and a day
It's really good to see you, I'd love to touch you too
I know things have changed
And you keep away
But can I say I miss you.

- Leaving the Country- Diana Anaid

mood: distressed music: Leaving the Country- Diana Anaid

I need help, I'm slipping. I'm falling in and I'm letting myself.

I watched "Crazy For You" all the way through with Kylie and Taylor and I was fine until I started thinking. "We were fine then, more then fine. It was perfect, fun." I just don't understand I guess. I wasn't crazy, I didn't care if he hung out with girls or anything. I wasn't mean, I didn't yell. So...what the heck? Two months and no phone call? Just like that, I don't even get a break up call? Or an explanation?
That's all I want. Just put me out of my misery, just tell me whats going on for the love of God.

I hate it because now I can't stop thinking about it, or him or any of it. I loved being around him, it was intoxicating. I miss him so much. Seriously, not even kidding. NOW its dawning on me. I guess I just was denying it, putting on a face so no one would know I have emotions. That "tough Lane" was still there. Maybe thats it, that I didn't show enough. But he didn't either, i guess in the end it just wasn't it. That's strike two. How many do we get?

I guess I wont ever be with him, he's leaving anyway. Apparently he doesn't care enough to call, so I shouldn't either.

But I can't help it, I do care. I care a lot about him.

Maybe this will pass quickly...quicker then last time anyway.


I feel very empty right now.


Edit: I've come to find out that Brenton didn't get a invite to Ethan's open house.....BRENTON didn't. That's just weird, wrong even. Chase said that Brenton was worried that I didn't. But I got one, so what's up?

mood: depressed music: not in the mood.

I took off my iron smile
Because I found it weighed me down
Tomorrow when the world wakes up
I'll be in another town

You don't know what you want
But at this moment it could be me
You move your hand across my knee
Turn me into some novelty

I guess I'm one more girl on the stage
Just one more ass that got
Stuffed in some jeans
And it's one more day that you
Don't find true love
Because you don't know
What it means

Did you ever take the time to
Think about who I might be
Where I've been, what I'm thinking
Who I love, what I've seen

Yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, ohh

I'm one more car out
On the road
You might pass on your way home
Someone's sister, someone's wife or
Just some bitch who's probably
Got no life

Yes I'm one more girl on the stage
Just one more ass that got
Stuffed in some jeans
And it's one more day that you
Don't find true love
Because you don't know
What it means
Yeah

One day we'll be a pile of ashes
For the rest of time we passes
So take your hand off my knee
Do you know what it means to be

One more girl on the stage
Just one more ass that got
Stuffed in some jeans
And it's one more day that you
Don't find true love
Because you don't know
What it means

Yeah, yeah, yeah

-The Wreckers "One More Girl"

An excellent song I felt I should share! :D

music: One More Girl- The Wreckers

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO CHARLIE!!!!!!!!!

Well drama is over and done with (to quote Moulin Rouge). And I have to say I'm extremely sad about it. I have never been so upset about it being over then I am now. I think it's because it actually felt like my Senior year. How it should have been. With WoBob and the old crew back doing what they love.

At first I felt so out of place, being up there with people who knew me as being graduated and who were new. It just felt weird. But now, I feel as if I really am a part of that cast, everyone was happy that I was there. And that made me extremely happy and proud of all of them.

I just can't say how proud of everyone I am. It as a long, long, LONG road but we made it down it and KICKED ass. It was like a Broadway show. And anyone who missed it should have "chump" tattooed across their head for being a moron. (save for Robyn who tried and couldn't make it no matter what.)

I have made some life long friends through out those three months and all of them are people I have rarely if EVER talked to. But now they are like my family (namely the Pink Ladies.)

Wow I just started iTunes and its on Random and the song "Disenchanted" came on.

How fitting....
Well I was there on the day
They sold the cause for the queen
And when the lights all went out
We watched our lives on the screen
I hate the ending myself
But it started with a alright scene

It was the roar of the crowd that gave me heartache to sing
It was a lie when they smiled and said you won't feel a thing
And as we ran from the cops
We laughed so hard it would sting (yeah, yeah, oh)

If I'm so wrong (so wrong, so wrong)
How can you listen all night long (night long, night long)
Now will it matter after I'm gone
Because you never learn a God damn thing

You're just a sad song
With nothing to say
About a lifelong wait for a hospital stay
And if you think that I'm wrong
This never meant nothing to ya

I spent my high school career
Spit on and shoved to agree
So I could watch all my heros
Sell a car on T.V.
Bring out the old guillotine
We'll show them what we all mean (yeah, yeah, oh)

If I'm so wrong (so wrong, so wrong)
How could you listen all night long (night long, night long)
Now will it matter after I'm gone
Because you never learn a God damn thing

You're just a sad song
With nothing to say
About a lifelong wait for a hospital stay
And if you think that I'm wrong
This never meant nothing to ya

So go
Go away
Just run
Run away
But where did you run to?
Where did you hide?
Go and find another way
Price you pay

You're just a sad song
With nothing to say
About a lifelong hospital stay
And if you think that I'm wrong
Then this never meant nothing to ya
C'mon
You're just a sad song
With nothing to say
About a lifelong hospital stay
And if you think that I'm wrong
Then this never meant nothing to ya
At (at all, at all, at all)

Anyway that was really ironic.
Anyway...I miss everyone already and it's only been a day.
I miss tap dancing and complaining about my feet hurting. I love that, I love it so much. It shows how hard everyone is working for the greater good.
I miss seeing everyone with their ups and downs, I miss Jody, joking with her and making fun of things. I miss Ireland and Sterling.
I miss my Pink Ladies and Chase, Zachera. Taylor too.
Its so hard going form seeing these people everyday....to not at all.

I cannot wait for the PL party.


Well I'm sick now :P or getting sick. Tradition I guess, I always get sick after drama.

Things with Ethan are going great, he's a shy guy deep down. And I love it, I love him.
He got me flowers for the last show. ^__^

---
I'm getting back into Tsubasa! I love it, I want the next volume to come out. Even though this one just did....

I suppose I should go..I'm sorta bored.

Whens Spring Break?

location: Home mood: nostalgic music: Disenchanted- MCR

GOING TO NYC!!!!!!!!!

WHOO!!!

Well I went to TC and got me some dancing threads finally!
AHH I want my brown hair. GROW HAIR GROW!!!

Anyway, Ethan told me to call him when I got back form TC on Saturday (drama practice went awesome as always)
So i did but it was really late and of course he was with his friends, I expected that.
So I see him today after practice (it was a Follies practice). I give him my valentine card I got for him.

Ont the front it said "In order to be my Valentine, You have to do one thing."
On the inside it said "me."
It was hilarious and fitting since he doesn't really like V-day. So i got him a funny card. He said it was the best thing he ever got.
Then proceeded to tell me to keep my Wednesday open! :) Things are going great, yay!

So, V-day something with Ethan, then NY THE NEXT DAY!!!!!! WHOOO!!!!!!!


.....
shit i need to pack.


SO I'm re-diong this movie-song thing. With my music this time.


Opening Credits: Why Can't I?- Liz Phair

You hardly hear this song anymore and its good...

Waking Up: Sleep- My Chemical Romance

Ironic....

First Day at School: I Was So Alone- The Rocket Summer

yay ! rocket summer!

Falling in Love: I'll Be Missing You- Puff Daddy

yeah i know "puff daddy"? its good alright?

Breaking Up: Angel- Dave Matthews Band

Omg...i love this song.

Prom: Ordinary Day- Vanessa Carlon

ehhh...lol i do like this song though. cant see it being played at prom though.

Life's Okay: October- Evanescence

ahh...love this song so much. Slow and smooth

Mental Breakdown: Goreki- Lamb

"If I should die, this very moment, i wouldn't fear for I've never known completeness like being here. Wrapped in the warmth of you, loving every breath of you. Still my heart this moment, or it might burst."

Driving: I Write Sins Not tradgities- Panic! At the Disco

Great song, I do like to drive to it...

Flashback:This Love- Maroon 5

I looove maroon 5!!!! GIVE ME NEW CD!!

Getting Back Together: Around the Clock- The Rocket Summer

"I am not into the idea of being without you."

Wedding: Dip It Low(Remix)- Christina Milian

Of course, I am totally going to rock hard core at my wedding. I know how to throw parties!!!! I can totally see me doing this.

Birth of Child: If You Steal My Sunshine- Len

Great song! For a child? eh...maybe?

Final Battle: Leave- R.E.M

Oh my God...thats perfect! WHO i love that song!

Death Scene: Carry On My Wayward Son- Kansas

huh, i dont know how i feel about this one. kick ass song though.

Funeral Song: Seven Years- Saosin

I adore this song.

End Credits: Gentle Hands- .Hack//GU

Great song to a great game!




-sora

location: home/kitchen mood: calm music: I'm Doing Everything(For you)-The Rocket Summer

Opening Credits: Halloween- Rent

I love this song with a passion, only right to have it open with one of my favorite RENT songs...

Waking Up: Silver and Cold- AFI

Riku is glaring at me now.

First Day at School: House of Wolves- My Chemical Romance

Thats ironic....Everyone is a wolf apparently....

Falling in Love: Ordinary- Train

Wow....intense.... "anything but ordinary"

Breaking Up: Boogie Wonderland- Happy Feet

Apparently when I break up Everyone dances...:P ghahaha.......

Prom: I Turn to You-Christina Aguilera

Thats horribly corny.

Life's Okay: Citadel- Anna Nalick

I like this song, this ones okay.

Mental Breakdown: Teenagers- My Chemical Romance

Teenagers....huh? Oookay.............

Driving: Dare- Gorrilaz

"You've got to press it on you, you just think it thats what you do baby. Hold it down, DARE"

Flashback: So Long Jimmy- James Blunt

Weiiired....

Getting Back Together: Twilight- Vanessa Carlton

Loove this song!

Wedding: I Did It My Way- Frank Sinatra

I freaking love this song! Perfect, I will have this at my wedding!

Birth of Child: Simon- Lifehouse

Aww. I love that song!

Final Battle: The Scientist- Coldplay

yeah I get to go out to coldplay!! WHOO

Death Scene: This Aint a scene It's an Arms Race- Fall Out Boy

huh, i dont know how i feel about this one. kick ass song though.

Funeral Song: I Miss You- Blink 182

Aww man...Its the song I always hear when I'm with Ethan. i loove this song.

End Credits: If Only- Fiction Plane

yay that was fun..!

only if it was my music :P
-sora

There has been this cat hanging around my house. Now he was here before and he would come and go, but latley he hasn't been here. He showed up two nights ago.
He has been sleeping in a little bed made for Jelly to sleep in when shes outside that it out on our deck.
I was looking at him through the glass door. He didn't get up, but he just looked up at me. I felt bad because he was shaking and cold and it was on the coldest night this week that he had shown up. I wish I could have let him in but I can't. There was something up with his chin, It look injured. Like some fur was taken off in a fight. I didn't think it was anything major. That it was a trick to my eyes. So tonight when I got back from Ethan's, I put some food out there for him since it had been two days and he hadn't moved once form the spot. He starts eating it, I see that its a huge gash in his chin, but nothing more (that I could see). I feel terrible because there is nothing I can do for him right now.
So I wrote a note for my mom telling her not to let Mikie and Jelly out just in case this cat had something they could catch. (a precaution) And that I want to call the humane society and have them come pick him up, he needs medical attention.
A half hour goes by, I turn on the outside light to see if he is in the bed again, he is. He gets up and walks to me, meows and I see that HALF OF HIS LOWER JAW AND TONGUE IS MISSING I slapped my hands to my face and fell backwards, looking away I shut off the light and didn't look back out there.
I hate not being able to help him, to comfort him. I hate it. It made me think of my Goo. I wasn't there when he needed me most and it kills me.
I hate seeing hurt animals, it just makes me dizzy and sick.
I didn't think it was that bad....oh my god I felt instantly sick and my knees went out from under me.
I need to take care of him tomorrow, he needs help and I'm going to get him some.

---had to get that off my chest....

-Sora

location: Kitchen mood: distressed music: Red Jumpsuit Apparatus- Face Down

Well I got like 5 phone calls this morning. And when i say morning, I mean morning.
Mom comes in at 5:30, Dad calls at like...6. Riku calls me at 8.

That converstation was intersting....

Me: "....hello.....?"
Riku: "Sora?"
Me: "....yeh..?"
Riku: "NCMC's cancelled...."
Me: ".....kay'...."
Riku: "...okay. Go back to sleep...."
Me: ".....kay...."


I hardly talk when woken up so early. So yeah slept until noon thirty....
I had a uneventful day. I feel sorta useless because I just sat around. I wanted to go do something but the roads were sorta...eh...and I had no one to hang out with.

I want to go spend money.
I want to play FF9 and KH2.
hmm maybe I will.

Sora

location: Kitchen mood: bored music: Avril Lavigne- How Does It Feel? tags: riku

I'm up to late, I have to be at the school early..... damn. Ah well I really love Saturday practices. I really do. I'll get to see Jodie and Ireland. I havn't seen them in a while.

WoBob told me to start learning the Pink lady songs. so yeah thats cool.

I wanna get some chapstick.

location: riku's mood: tired music: .hack

I <3 -------------->

that is all.